(:

i loved this song from my sister’s keeper

Somethin’ in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There’s somethin’ in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I’ve been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you’ve done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I’m alright, ’cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I’ve waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I’d love anyone so much

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

FINISHED

it’s 1:15 am and i am FINALLY, finally finished with my history of film essay. absolutely nothing more to correct. i finished with all the bloody biblio shit and all the funny formatting things that i so desperately hate. this 12 page horror is now leaving my life.

now it’s time to start on my music essay. gaaah. life sucks.

but if i didn’t have awesome people like ritchell and caroline and ryan and kelvin, i wouldn’t know how i’d stay sane. THANK YOU ALL!!!

reflections

#1. for all the nuttiness & crazy talk, i realise that on hindsight that some of the stuff that my genius friends mention is actually very brilliant.

case in point:

The Ideal is the Hybrid, but the Reality is the Schizo – ritchell

Colonizer vs Colonized Theory – caroline

#2. psychoanalysis is crazy useful, even though it fries my brains. thank you ryan, for rambling so much. thank you tania roy, for being so brilliant. i hate you freud, kristeva rocks. oops.

#3. i rediscovered Chantal Kreviazuk (right. i forgot about her coz her last name was so bloody difficult to spell. LOL)

Chantal Kreviazuk is the wonderfully talented girl who sang Leaving on a Jetplane in the movie Armageddon.

#4. after multiple postphonings and procrastinating loads, I FINISHED MY HISTORY OF FILM PAPER!! now 3 essays to go. *dies*

GAAH

i told ryan earlier today that i couldn’t think of any word in the english language to properly express my feelings of unsatisfaction? unhappiness? frustration? and he said, “just say GAAH lor.” and lol it was funny at that time and so so true and so so perfect so here i am saying it for the third time today.

GAAAAAHHH
i can write. i know i can. but somehow i have a terrible need to have things flow as perfectly as i know they could but right now it ain’t happening and i need it to happen now.

then i can happy happy go shopping tomorrow! wheee! hahahaha.

obsessed.

i was looking through my livejournal “friends page” when i stumbled upon this picture

immediately i thought, FARMVILLE!!

haha gosh i am so obsessed. not that i never knew that before. but farmville is a tiny little universe that i control and i control only. it is my perfect utopia of a farm where animals jump and emit hearts when i pet them, and my crops grow and ripen at the exact designated time. farmville is predictable, farmville is relaxing, farrmville is my mindless sanctuary away from the harsh realities of life.

unlike my farmville crops, i do not produce essays at the exact designated time. i tend to delay.

sighs. back to essay writing.

que sera sera

when i was just a little girl,
i asked my mother, what would i be?
would i be pretty? would i be rich?
…

seeing ryan’s facebook status about taking a year off to read & write voraciously made me question myself.

i remember.. the half written short stories, the scraps of unfinished poetry, the random stories i would think of and promise myself to write but never did.

i don’t fancy myself as the next J.K. Rowling, but hopefully i’ll have the determination & perseverance to at least accomplish a complete written work before the coporeality of my body erases my existence.

i sound so morbid.heh.

 

waiting for better things.

simeon & i were initially planning a christmas getaway, since between his work & my school we haven’t really spent all that much time together.. plus he needed a much needed break from work & 25th dec was going to be one of the rare, rare holidays that was followed by a weekend.

alas, everything remotely near our budget is completely booked, and we’re not millionaires…so we’ve decided to postphone it indefinitely. hopefully next year before he goes off to the USA for 5 months we’ll be able to catch a short holiday together, either that or i’ll fly up and visit him (: either way, postphoning this trip is a good decision i think, then we’ll have much more time to plan and we won’t have to fight with so many people booking trips like crazy during the holiday season haha.

i really don’t think i’ll be going anywhere this december. parents are grumpy and they are going on and on about everything except the holiday i want ):

i wish i was oh-i-use-$10-bills-to-wipe-my-ass rich and had all the time in the world. haha.

 

encyclopedia

my brain needs to have the capacity of an encyclopedia. not one of those puny books a 7 year old kids looks at in awe. i mean one of those books so thick that an elephant can’t wrap its trunk around it. that’s what i need.

badminton.

Badminton today was the manifestation of, and cathartic purging of our stress. Multiple shuttlecock feathers were sacrificed for the salvation of our sanity, which is a small price to pay for the release of tension we all felt.

plus my tummy feels flatter hahaha.

alright now it’s back to my multiple essays. may the ghosts of the literary greats be with me. onward and beyond!!

randomly, i get to see simeon darling tonight coz he’s gonna pick me up from sch yayy. sigh can’t believe he’s leaving so soon already. but it’s only for a week plus AND i get to get my plaid converse shoes heehee. *hopefully*

walkin’ on sunshinee

every single one of you (:

it feels so good, so refreshing to have had a wonderful time out with friends. laughing crazily in daniel’s car with the gang & having my wonderful awesome boyfriend fetch me home (:

it also feels awesome when i find new directions and new materials for my essay. hopefully this spills over to my other essays as well! (:

i’m walkin’ on sunshine! whooaaa

and don’t it feel good?